and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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