i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i believe in u and ur pee
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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