I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize