you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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