I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
