youre lurking in front of me
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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