i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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