Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
