Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
