whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
