Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
