1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Your cock deserves a montage
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
