haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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