he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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