is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
