That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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