I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
