hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
