I cannot find my penis.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
