I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
