there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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