we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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