I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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