Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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