Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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