Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
