We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
