She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
