ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
