if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
