I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
