apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
