Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
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