I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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