Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
