i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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