Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
