After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
