the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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