He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
