And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
