Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
