i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
