u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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