What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
