I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
