I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Randomize
