Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
