She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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