after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
