Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
