sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just invented taco cereal.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
