I have demons in me.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I FOUND THE LEGS
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
